18 Things NOT To Say To Your Kids

“DON’T BE SAD/MAD/UPSET.”

We can’t help the way we feel. Teach your child do work through their emotions rather than denying them.

“YOU’RE A MUCH BETTER READER THAN KEVIN!”

Don’t encourage your child to compare themselves to their friends. Help them focus on their own growth. They don’t need to validate themselves at the expense of others.

“YOU’RE MY PERFECT ANGEL!”

This makes your child believe that you expect perfection from them. According to an Ohio State University study, this can lower your child’s self-esteem and promote a fear of failure. Instead, love them in their imperfection.

“WHY CAN’T YOU BE MORE LIKE CLAIRE?”

Your child is unique, wonderful, and special. Encourage them to be the best version of themselves – not a second-rate copy of somebody else.

“I CAN’T SAY NO TO YOU, SWEETHEART!”

Children need boundaries to feel safe and develop good behavioral skills. Don’t be afraid to discipline your child.

“I KNOW YOU DIDN’T MEAN TO KICK YOUR BROTHER.”

Um, yes they did. Find out why.

“I TOLD YOU SO.”

How do you like to hear this as an adult? If you have the opportunity to say this phrase, there’s a good chance your child has already learned from their mistake.

“YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!”

According to a University of Michigan study, children who are shamed become defiant and aggressive.

“THIS IS HOW WE’VE DISCIPLINED CHILDREN IN THIS FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS. I TURNED OUT JUST FINE.”

The idea that something has always been done a certain way is NOT a good reason to keep doing it.

“AS LONG AS YOU LIVE HERE, YOU WILL LIVE BY MY RULES.”

Your child might take you up on this threat and run away. If they stay, they will feel trapped and unwelcome in their own home.

“DON’T MAKE ME CANCEL CHRISTMAS/TURN THIS CAR AROUND/SEND YOU TO MILITARY SCHOOL!”

When you make threats you cannot or will not enforce, you undermine your own credibility.

“BECAUSE I SAID SO!”

If your child asks about a rule, take the time to explain it to them. Would you follow a rule you didn’t agree with or understand?

“YOU’RE MAKING ME ANGRY/SAD/FRUSTRATED.”

Your child is not responsible for your emotions. This phrase teaches them to shift responsibility for their emotional state on to others, rather than working through negative feelings on their own.

“UGH, WHAT DO YOU NEED NOW?”

Teach your children that their needs are important. This will help them become adults who take care of themselves.

“YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A BABY.”

Is your child anxious? Nervous? Overwhelmed? Scared? Frustrated? Don’t shame them. Help them to work through their feelings.

“BIG KIDS AREN’T AFRAID TO DO THAT.”

Don’t invalidate your child’s fears. Instead, be an ally in conquering them.

“HURRY UP!”

This phrase is very common, but ineffective. It doesn’t make children move faster. It only stresses them out.

“YOU’RE FINE.”

It’s up to your child to decide if they feel okay or not.


Source: I Heart Intelligence

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